topdaz

wtf

2008-10-15T04:48:00.003+01:00

Red Dwarf great British Humo(u)r

2008-10-12T10:37:00.001+01:00

wow

2008-10-12T09:09:00.003+01:00

wow my future wife hrhr

You tube, me tube we all should tube

2006-12-14T17:44:00.001Z

deleted by me!

Doh!

2006-11-23T08:40:00.000Z

Doh! I think I have gone mad! Thus this blog is closed. See my new mad blog, the most mad blog on the net

BBC link to me!

2006-04-24T17:49:00.000+01:00

Man, I've seen a few of these blogspot blogs that have been linking to by the BBC... they get more hits per hour than the average blogspot does in 20 years!!!!

2006-02-28T03:09:00.000Z

911 documentary saying it was no accident

2006-01-23T21:10:00.000Z

To someoooooooooone I know

2006-01-20T22:29:00.000Z

Crazy Speed Climber

2006-01-18T23:16:00.000Z

top of the pops

2006-01-17T20:19:00.000Z

heehee

Double stunnnnned out tree (but I'll cope)

2006-01-14T17:25:00.000Z

Whats more sad than pouring heart + soul into blog yet not a single hit in 3 days?

Why the fuck did I ask that question in public. Fuck see post saying I'm stunned out of me tree, will that was 8 days ago and I suppose I'm still to stunned to think about that one, and today another wammmmmmer. Gosh my friend Garry with MS are no more.

Never will I see him again...

Since 1986 I had the keys to his flat and today I very reluctantly had to give them to him father.

Good bye mate, I'll never be popping in at 2 am when I've known you've felt lonely...

blah blah when I'm in the mood I will tell you all about this sad tale.

RIP
(Rubbish Incidious Parents)

Stunned out my tree

2006-01-06T17:35:00.000Z

This post has got to refer to the post silly me did a few days ago...
Whats more sad than pouring heart + soul into blog yet not a single hit in 3 days

Man I'm so stunned i can't even type. For the last 20 hours I been so numb I become dumb....

hey if i could snap out of this shock i'll tell you what's more sad than a stupid unseen blog...

oh wow what can i say?

just that it's all snapped me out my tree, thousands maybe millions of beautiful spiritual people (ie loads from jesus to john lenon, gandi to MOST important the unknown) have been tortured and killed and if that is what will happen to me, well so be it.

Whats more sad than pouring heart + soul into blog yet not a single hit in 3 days

2006-01-02T10:57:00.000Z

Never mind
http://th-sis.com/__hello_to_you__from__~topdaz~__
this_link_brings_me_cash__so_please_use_it__
pretty_please---cheers/fartlinks.htm

Chemistry Lesson part 1

2005-12-28T14:17:00.000Z

Chemistry Lesson part 1

We had a terrible chemistry teacher. He was one of those brilliant chemists who assumed that every one else in the world was on the same intimate terms with atoms, protons and neutrons as he happened to be. In fact, whenever he tried to teach us something, he would inevitably become frustrated and give up midway because of our complete incompetency.

We were relieved when we were told that he would be leaving us. It was rumoured that he had made some invention that allowed his car to run on vinegar. It was also rumoured that Shell Oil had bought the patent. With this newly acquired wealth he retired to some warm and exotic spot of the earth and we never heard from him again.

For a few glorious weeks all our chemistry lessons were free as no suitable replacement teacher could be found. Until the day our Headmaster entered the room and announced:

"Boys, boys. Quiet please boys."

He had chosen a bad time for his unannounced arrival as the class was midway through a mini-riot and there were a few upturned chairs and a general disorder. The riot was nothing serious, just a replay from 'The Wall' video by Pink Floyd. We were up to the part where all the school kids jump around shouting "We don't want no education."

But the sight of the Headmaster in his formidable black and flowing gown with his cane in his hand soon sent us boys meekly to our seats.

A paper plane with a Swastika symbol on the wings had been launched during the chaos and was now circling about the class. The Headmaster waited for it to land before he continued.

"I have some good news."

We all groaned. Good news for any one who is official always means bad news for the unofficial. His smile confirmed the worst.

"We have found you boys a Chemistry Teacher."

More groans.

"Silence!" he paused then said, "she will be here tomorrow and as she will be new to the school I expect you will all do your best to make her feel at home." He then scowled a bit and added, "won't you?"

I suppose that amongst the mutterings we replied he could hear the affirmative answer to his question. He seemed happy and left in a flurry of cloak like Dracula after a kill, or a suck, or what ever Dracula does.

We were all commenting on our bad luck and generally building up to our out-of-control state when the Headmaster again appeared at the door.

"Oh yes, boys, I forgot to tell you, her name is...." he cleared his throat as he did in assembly before some important announcement. "Her name is Mrs....no, actually Ms.......Ms. Goats."

The Headmaster closed the door on our laughter and left us to discuss this preposterous name.

"Ms Goats," said Kevin, the Class Mouth. "just imagine what a teacher like that will be!" Then to add effect he over dramatised a shudder of sheer repulsion.

The class continued discussing our new and unseen teacher until we had reached the state of procuring in our minds eye the feminine counterpart of Frankinstein. We even got together an Identikit done by combining the artistic talents of the whole class. I must admit that she looked terrible on our drawing. The bell rang and we ran off for break leaving the drawing pinned to the wall.

The next day we were reasonably quiet as we waited our fate in the form of this terrible new teacher.

When the door was opened and in walked Ms Goats the mouths of every boy in the room dropped open. There was dead silence.

She said, "Hello boys, I am Ms Goats, your new chemistry teacher."

Somewhere, someone said a very drawn out "Wow!"

Then there was a "Gee!"

"My God!" came from the class Atheist.

My heart was beating too loudly for me to hear what I said.

Ms Goats was the most beautiful woman to ever enter the teaching profession. She was so luscious and so desirable and so sexy that I'm sure I was dribbling instantly.

Her body came straight out of Page Three.

Her face was something that hitherto had been only in my fantasies. She was the type of woman you saw pictured with those balding millionaire businessmen. The sex appeal just dripped off her.

There was no coincidence that the arrival of Ms Goats to the school coincided with the arrival of many boys experiencing wet dreams for the first time.

Ms Goats always came to school looking as if she had just walked off a Miss World beauty contest. She walked around the school with the air and confidence of people who know they will always get their own way. She could ask you to do anything and after a blink or two from those long eyelashes you melted to her every whim.

Suddenly chemistry took on a new light and was rapidly becoming my favourite class.

And who sat where in the Chemistry Lab was almost becoming a fight-to-the-death matter. This was because every one wanted to sit in the very front row of the benches. At first it may sound strange to actually want to sit at the front of any class but read on and you will understand the situation.

The benches in the Chemistry Lab were terraced. A bit less spectacular than a cinema, but none the less, they were terraced. This meant that those on the very front row were on a level with the teacher's desk and those at the back of the class were at a level higher up.

The teacher's desk in the lab was huge. Solidly built in case we discovered atomic power.

The exciting part about this desk was that you could see under them. Or, to be a little more explicit, if you just by chance happened to be sitting in the front row, and you just by chance happened to drop your pen on the floor, and you just by chance happened to look under the desk when Ms Goats was sitting opposite you, you would be well rewarded by an almost pornographic view up her dress.

And so this made the front row position very sought after.

To stop the blood from spilling daily, we had to devise a system whereby we used the old 'shortest-straw' method. The three people with the shortest straws were rewarded with the front row for that class. But as with so many things, it soon became a racket, with the thugs of the class controlling the seats.

I am sure that Ms Goats knew what we were up to. If anything, I felt she encouraged it more than discouraged it. In fact, I once saw her being sent home by the headmaster because the top part of her anatomy was wobbling about excessively without the restraint of a bra.

Some how I think I have been slightly distracted off the subject of chemistry. The two most interesting things I learnt about the subject was A), how to make a bomb, and B) seeing the things that grew under my finger nails.

It happened when Ms Goats caught me biting my nails. She pounced on me and dragged me to the front of the class.

"Siss on you!" she said. "Do you know what rubbish and dirt you eat when you bite your nails?"

I was blushing, not because I was hauled up in front of the class, but because she was holding me firmly by the shoulders. I was worried whether this and the aura of perfume that surrounded her would make embarrassing things happen within my trousers

She grabbed my hands and inspected them by holding them to the light. I must admit that my bitten nails were not my strongest point and I felt terrible that the lady of my dreams was getting such exposure to them. I felt that perhaps they were not all that bad.

"It is enough to make me sick."

Bang goes that theory.

"This is utterly disgraceful. This is repulsive."

Alright, enough is enough, I get the message.

"How can you!"

Time for my defence: "Those nails suffer the full brunt of my frustrations. We get so much work to do. So much home work. Teachers don't realize that they are slowly killing us poor kids by over-burdening our innocent conscience."

Her look said it with out her needing to say it.

I was speaking bullshit.

Here I am, my first opportunity for communication with such a beautiful woman and I am busy duffing it. Ground swallow me up and spit me out in China.

"Come with me," she said, "and I'll show you a thing or two."

What is happening! Those are the exact words I had always dreamt of hearing before we get all intimate! Heartbeat quicken; blood pumping, adrenaline soaring, (not to mention something else beginning to soar). This is it! I am about to enter manhood with a bang.

The only bang I got was on the harsh rocks of reality. I definitely had an over imaginative mind. Looking back on it I wonder where I found the stupidity to think such absurd thoughts.

She took me over to one of the side benches where a powerful microscope was always set up. She pulled out a glass slide from a drawer then asked me for my hand again. Under any other circumstance a lady like this asking for my hand would send me up the pole. But here I was reluctant.

"Look at this," she said, "you have bitten your nails so low on the quick that I will not be able to even scrape under your nails as there is no nail to scrape under."

This only very slightly witty remark brought the rest of the class jumping out their seats to come over to us for a closer look.

I could see that this time the joke was definitely on me.

She looked at me straight in the eye, with out a blink she said, "You will just have to see what is under mine." Then her gaze deliberately fell to below my belt. This was not sportsman-like. The whole class was around to see me blush to the colour of a London bus.

When you are down you might as well accept it and try to float it out. Let them get their kicks. Resistance just gets them to hit you harder. I might as well accept my fate. As I said, the joke was on me.

That day the whole class had a very entertaining lesson at my expense.

But, in all fairness, that day I got to see a very interesting display of the millions of little organisms and things that live and squirm in the dirt that lies under your finger nails. There are entire communities at work and play. Seeing this was enough to make me decide to never bite my nails again.

That very afternoon I asked my mum to get me a bottle of that terrible tasting bitters that you paint over your nails to stop you biting them. At first it worked very well. But then in came Darwin's Theory of Evolution and the little taste buds on my tongue evolved to such a state that I could tolerate that awful taste.

There was this other chap in the class that also suffered from the nail biting syndrome.

His problem was worse than mine in that he said he would never put that bitters on his fingers as that was being girlish. Well, girlish or not, I would never resort to his method of abstinence.

He told me that he had a brilliant way of stopping himself from biting his nails. In fact, it was so brilliant that he said that he would not tell me as he wanted to patent the idea.

This got me interested and so for the next few days I kept an eye on him to see what he was up to.

It was during break one day that I noticed he was doing something strange. He looked a bit out of proportion. sort of bent. He also had this very vacant and distant look on his face. Then I noticed he looked funny because his one hand was down the back of his trousers. I needed no imagination to know what and where he was scratching. He then pulled his hand out and put it straight up to his nose. His whole face puckered up as if he had just sucked a lemon. Then his face broke into a smile and off he went.

Even worse was the fact that Darwin's Theory of Evolution worked on his taste buds as well.

No, I would prefer to eat my fingers to the knuckles.
But we were soon to discover that I was only the first of many victims. Ms Goats systematically worked on us until at least half the class had done the blushing act.

I wonder if it was coincidence that the Blushers were also the ones that had spent most of the time in the front row.

But still I am off the subject of chemistry.

As it was Ms Goats and her chemistry lessons that taught me how to make my own gun powder and subsequent bombs.

It was a slip of her tongue that one day she told us the few magic ingredients needed to make gun powder. I was amazed that they were all such simple things that could very easily be bought from any chemist shop.

The second she had told us I scribbled the formulae and ratios onto a piece of paper and stuffed it into my pocket. I seemed to be the only one in class that had realized the importance of that particular lesson. All the other kids weren't actually listening but were just watching.

That very afternoon I was down in the town collecting all the goodies I needed.

My theory was that if anything was to go wrong, or I was to get caught making mini home-made bombs, I would blame it all on the Chemist in town that sold me the stuff. He must have known exactly what I was going to do with the stuff as to anyone who knows the ingredients it would be pretty obvious.

That afternoon I set about making my first batch of gunpowder. I followed all the instructions I had written down earlier that day in class. I ground everything together and looked at what was supposed to be gunpowder. It did not look all that impressive. But still I supposed it was not made to look good just act good.

continue... here

©2005 topdaz.com All rights Reserved.

Wave power instead of nuke power

2005-12-21T23:31:00.000Z

Offshore Wave Energy

Been reading this site and been thinking about life here on earth in the next few hundred years...

Think what we've been doing this last 100 years and imagine we keep on this same line of destroying this place blah blah who cares?

Anyway.... jhs sdfhsdi fjh wdifgh fijgd fiuasghf isd gfajfg fgjf gdsf a

25 000 locals killed will families ever forgive?

2005-12-21T21:30:00.000Z

I wonder if the families of all the locals killed will ever forgive Bush and the people of USA (and to a lesser degree UK)?
Anyway I am not going to get political because, afterall, what's the point? Us little humans must face the fact that we have no real power at all... governments will do what they want and us, the little people can just watch in dismay.

Photo source BBC http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4525412.stm
used without permission but hey, I pay £120 a year TV lisence to fund the BBC so f'em!

wtt

2005-12-13T10:11:00.001Z

THISisWHATiWANTtoSAY

2005-12-13T10:10:00.000Z

;)

memo to me: must do hp radio 4 sister

2005-12-13T02:35:00.000Z

i know what i mean!

Yip I'm on the manic side of my condition

2005-12-13T02:30:00.000Z

Did send txt mssg to friends about this but forgot to tell you lot...
tap the word
failure
into google
then click I feel lucky

laugh!

? mmmn sure I have posted this before but where did that post go?

What a buzz

2005-12-13T02:17:00.000Z

Hi folks
well I know I not been doing this old blog much but don't panic cause I been doing the tech gear to make this blog even better: yes... things about to happen...

pink.topdaz.com
a new radio station exclusively playing pink floyd / roger waters tracks

u2.topdaz.com
a new radio station exclusively playing U2 tracks

laugh.topdaz.com
a new radio station exclusively playing funny audio (mature content)

and also

music.topdaz.com
a new radio station playing music that I currently like. If YOU play and have created music send it to me! topdaz -at- topdaz.com

And all this will be 100% legally done cause I am just offering a sample service and will encourage you to support the artist.

Well, there's more, but how many ideas can one post have?

Do u use Google to spell check?

2005-12-12T23:58:00.000Z

I do. I was registering away domain names as you do when u think u can make money from the net then suddenly thought waahh, did i spell that right? Well here's me result
Results 1 - 10 of about 250,000,000 for positive [definition]. (0.06 seconds)

hehe if 250 mil people spelt it that way it gotta be right! Right?

Waahh and failure

2005-12-11T19:21:00.000Z

well will talk more about waahh some time but 4 now, type
failure
into Google and check what is listed first! I am sure it will make you laugh!
at first i thought the page shown was a hack but its the real deal.... hehehehehe
yeah thanks google u made my waahh day a bit better!

Some 3D technology

2005-12-09T12:00:00.000Z

Yeah a few years ago they were doing this but now it's even better, higher definition and smoother movement, check out these 3D interactive type pics here! Don't forget to try all them mood links down on right panel!The link above is called in a spin.

Been playing with Google to see how ebay...

2005-12-09T11:43:00.000Z

Been playing with Google to see how ebay will always have a ad listed no matter what you pop in. Anyway, could say more but won't, instead,

look what i found,

and online dogshit or dog turd creating machine.

Look at the size of this octopus!

2005-12-09T02:48:00.000Z

Wow

hey little blog i not forgot u

2005-12-03T21:54:00.000Z

no i have not
but
i been working on real work

topdaz

inSpireCAM.com

2005-11-30T22:02:00.000Z

ok,

here's the start-up plan. I offer a selected few (mostly family-run) retail shops to do a deal, namely: I will promote their shop and if needed provide a new modern database driven Company Website to the people of Salisbury in return for inSpireCAM.com being advertised within and in the window of their shop.

Fantastic FREEWARE net meter shows up/dn kb/sec

2005-11-30T07:34:00.000Z

Well I've tried lots and this one is the best! Try it, it's freeware meaning free forever.

Found the very best HOSTING deal

2005-11-30T04:57:00.000Z

Soon I will have some domains hosted here. They are only $7.95 per month!

1 FREE domain registration
www.yourname.com
UNLIMITED domains hosted
15 subdomains
4800 MB Disk, 120 GB Transfer
600 Mailboxes, 75 Shell/FTP Users

Google Google where are YOU Going?

2005-11-30T01:04:00.000Z

Well you know those ads by google? well soon they are going to have it liked up to a "call me" button. Pop in your phone number and the advertiser will phone you ASAP. Is this a goog way for Google to collect phone numbers as well?

Wish I could use photoshop

2005-11-29T23:30:00.000Z

Been playing with Bubble Wrap

2005-11-29T22:10:00.000Z

Here's something to play with:
&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;gt;

Both the real stuff and the on-line stuff.

Free Manufacturer Videos of New Cars

2005-11-29T19:08:00.000Z

Here's the link to a page where there are about 70 videos from car manufacturers, good quality and some very expensive artistic stuff to make you want to buy that particular model. Ps they all have 4 wheels and a windscreen.

xBox hype

2005-11-29T10:41:00.000Z

Too down to think but tried Chess

2005-11-22T13:22:00.000Z

oh can't do anything here! Will be back later?

Chess online here

Draw pictures with others and write stuff if u can

2005-11-21T21:32:00.000Z

Well here is a true time waster! Must get my 10 out 10 for complete waste of time. The first one is a bunch of letters where you can try to write something but other users online keep stealing them!

And this one is often more graphic because you can draw pictures! Some users have sex on the mind!

Most weird creatures u've ever seen

2005-11-21T20:30:00.000Z

Well good old photoshop experts have created this gallery of weird animals. Worth a look if you don't get nightmares.

Computer controlled cat-flap

2005-11-21T19:12:00.000Z

You may want to know why anyone would need a computer controlled cat-flap. The reason is to stop your cat bringing in any 'victims' in the house. Looks quite mad yet also quite fun and also, another quite, practical!

Check it out here.

Got no smoke so am watching Pot TV

2005-11-21T18:53:00.000Z

Yeah, got nothing to smoke except pesky tobacco so I am watching some Pot TV. Click here to watch in stand-alone Real Player!

Here's a time waster

2005-11-21T18:24:00.000Z

If you got a few seconds to waste have a look at this muscle man. You can get him to tweek his muscles for you!

Bash Bush on the Balls

2005-11-21T14:10:00.000Z

Here's something to play with: click and hold your mouse to aim Bush.
&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;gt;

The perm-link to this page is here (if you'd like to bookmark it) and a larger version is available here

Some links to free-running

2005-11-21T13:37:00.000Z

Have you heard about free running? It's a cross between gymnastics and ninja-stuff. All very impressive! These guys do stuff, like jump between high buildings, run up walls and back-flip, blah blah have a look!

Here's a good start

and of course there's hundreds more on Google Video:)

Funny video from my stream

2005-11-21T12:40:00.000Z

I think my own server and technology does a nice quick video, beter than most...

Thought this skydiving naked was funny: You can slow-motion back & forwards to identify bits.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;gt;

Finger Nails - Sorry this is another test

2005-11-21T11:43:00.000Z

Deleted as seems so slow I might not bother using it.

And I thought my place was a mess

2005-11-21T07:06:00.000Z

Ah, something to cheer me up. I thought my place was a bit of a mess but at least it does not look like this!!!

Zimbabwe news, another worry?

2005-11-21T06:39:00.000Z

Well, you might not be interested in Zimbabwe, a little country in Africa, or maybe you are...

...they say they have discovered Uranium. Zimbabwe has close ties with Iran and North Korea, two states in the spotlight for their nuclear policies. Zimbabwe states they will only use the Uranium for the production of electricity but we all know they will sell Uranium to the highest bidder to gain much needed foreign Currency. But my blog is not going to get political...

I must remember to try this 4 depression

2005-11-21T06:22:00.000Z

7 Things You Can Do Immediately To Ease Depression - By Sharon Schurman

1. Get out now and walk fifteen minutes. It will get your feet moving and help you feel you are at least able to do something.

2. Go immediately and be with someone who loves you. It will give you the feeling that you are wanted.

3. Religious? Say a prayer. Ask God to help you get through this.

4. Think of a situation, a place where you were very happy. Visualize yourself in that situation once more.

5. Power of suggestion can do wonders. Say to yourself, "I think I can get better. I have to take it step by step. I will work my way out of this."

6. Go out and buy a plant, or some flowers. Having something living in your house makes you feel more alive.

7. If possible, get outside in the sunshine. If it's not possible, turn on some bright lights. Sunshine and bright light are known to make people happier.

Copyright 2004 Sharon Schurman http://www.depression-help-guide.com is a retired licensed clinical counselor. She has a Master's Degree in Clinical Counseling, and worked for a psychiatrist for many years. She is the author of "Personality Pitfalls of Depression" and "37 Phrases That Make People Like You."

The biggest and best (also most professional) blog on depression is here. Please leave a comment if you know of a better one!

ps well instead of doing all the above I decided to create: Bash Bush on the Balls!
Have a look it helps my depression in a miro way!

How many hamburgers can you eat?

2005-11-21T06:15:00.000Z

Well here's a little video link if you would like to see the man who ate 67 burgers in eight minutes to become world champion.

Yum?

World's largest beer can pyramid sold for £8

2005-11-19T11:29:00.000Z

Oh dear look at this bargain I missed out on. It's from eBay (where else!)

# 10,660 EMPTY BEER CANS
# 5.07 meters TALL
# 39 levels

Biting Finger Nails

2005-11-19T08:41:00.000Z

Done a little finger biting aftermath video to show you.

Link coming for good stream as soon as Approved by Google!

Oh here's a copy (not Google), using a mew system called Castpost. They are not very good at the moment as their server is very slow.

Powered by Castpost

Listening to some good radio

2005-11-18T20:57:00.000Z

VampireFreaks Radio is what I am listening to whist I up load to Google Video. Gosh I had to grant them full copyright reproduction rights for impurpuity. Ummm, that word means forever but not sure if I spelt it right. The music I am listening to is making my buzz, had a few beers and guess what, I got some whiiiiiizzzz! Yippea should I be up all night?

HoHo and I'm joining Google Video

2005-11-18T19:54:00.000Z

Well done my first test to upload a test onto Google video. I'll place the link here when (or less hopeful if) it works!

Well well well and look, just 12 hours later we have Google Video here

Yeah makes me regret the fact that just a while ago I deleted loads of video diaries I'd done with my mate Garry, the guy with MS. Maybe I should have kept them? Never mind.

Some more shooting

2005-11-18T17:24:00.000Z

Hey, hope u don't think I'm wierd or something showing these few shooting videos. I just find it so unbelievable that in USA you can legally buy, own, and shoot these sorts of machine guns. Have a look here at them having a laugh...

Video Horror? Snipers in action...

2005-11-18T09:50:00.000Z

A few days ago I stumbled upon some fellows home pages where he talks about his obsessive love of firearms. Yip he was an American! Anyway he was saying that he plans to buy a 50 cal rifle, similar to the ones used by the Navy Seals for long range sniping.

Here's some info and more pics on the gun

But anyway this guy was saying that he was reading a story from some sniper who said that when he shot a baddie up in a guard tower once the "top half of the torso fell out the enclosure leaving the bottom half still up there".

Yeah this is one gun that sure does pack some wallop. Easy enough to stop any charging elephant. If you have a morbid curiosity you may like to see what I found, totally by chance, this morning.

I was playing around with a program called GetBot. This thing just can follow every link in a site and display all the contents. I was looking for video funnies and found loads so just got GetBot to download the lot. Having looked at them to my complete surprise the video on this 50 cal rifle. I find it quite bizarre that I was reading about this a few days ago and now perchance have found proof:

Warning: this video is very explicit once you can actually believe what you are seeing.
A sniper killing people from hundreds, even 1000 yards away.
You can slow-motion back & forwards to identify bits.
Adults ONLY... not for fucking kids! (The word "fucking" makes Google Safe Search work)
Watch it here.

Coming soon some video funnies

2005-11-18T09:08:00.000Z

Got some more streaming videos coming soon! Some serious some funny. This pic above is of a drunk driver suspect in USA where they make you do those tests. Why can't American cops just use a breath analyzer?

I think it's quite funny and had never seen it before... Watch it here you must have sound!!!

Shark Boy and Lava Girl get New Blog!

2005-11-16T21:19:00.000Z

Here

First lie: here's some cut and paste

2005-11-16T20:30:00.000Z

This cut and paste rehash has been removed by TopDaz.

Only original text is allowed!

Salisbury Cathedral

2005-11-16T16:26:00.000Z

This is an image I took of Salisbury Cathedral a few years ago and have just found it thanks to Google's Picasa. Click that little colourful circle emblem for their site!

Car / motorcycle hybred

2005-11-16T16:23:00.000Z

Trying to Dig my way Out

2005-11-16T16:17:00.000Z

Oh dear I am still feeling down but am trying to get out of it. Watched a program about How to be Happy last night on TV and have even got the book but my tide is still out?

Single Ticket Wins $315M Mega Millions Jackpot

2005-11-16T13:47:00.000Z

gbfgfg jfgh jfgh ghghj fgjfghjfgjj fjj j hjfghj j

2005-11-15T22:05:00.000Z

Ever tried a yoyo

2005-11-15T19:07:00.000Z

Well see the best here >>>

The biggest mistake that any of us can make is to believe what other people say about us

2005-11-15T18:17:00.000Z

Madonna arrived unannounced at City University's Hunter College as part of MTV series Stand In.

Students expected a screening of her new documentary, I'm Going To Tell You a Secret, but they were also given the chance to question the singer.

"The biggest mistake that any of us can make is to believe what other people say about us," she told the class.

miniBlog LG

2005-11-09T18:00:00.000Z

???
got afright???
ask if u want me 2 explain

me Hungry

2005-11-09T17:46:00.000Z

Did search 4 Google on Google

2005-11-09T17:40:00.000Z

got Results 1 - 10 of about 752,000,000 for google.

ebay, 158 items found for google

Think I need focus?

"Blogs are a waste of readers time" unless organised

2005-11-09T16:55:00.000Z

That's why I am doing this miniBlog MS or miniBlog DN headings to relavent posts so you, the reader, in years to come, hopefully, will see how things have grown. It's also a way of me keeping track of what's on blog and what's not. blahblah.

What will I call my rave on firefox? yip miniBlog FF and for shark boy and lava girl it will be miniBlog LG (lava girl).

miniBlog DN I am really down

2005-11-09T16:51:00.000Z

and nearly out...
oh dear
what a pity
nevermind

miniBlog MS sadly the brain is slowing

2005-11-09T16:44:00.000Z

Ok, 2 things,
1.
I will say that now I will get together a code system for various topics:
miniBlog MS this is about Multiple Sclerosis ( my friend's condition)
miniBlog DN DowN this is about being down and depression (my condition)

2.
My good friend with MS is losing his sense of reality and that is real sad because now I am wondering if there is any point in installing the new computer stuff for him because he is going off to coooooohkcoooooh land.

Ugly little things: not photoshop

2005-11-09T06:00:00.000Z

Shame, at first I thought what ugly little things (fruitbats) but then they kind of grew on me and now I think they look sweet... smiling sweet laughing happy little bats.
mmm? Me thinking whos batty?

A bit about me part 1

2005-11-09T03:36:00.000Z

This post and more are available in audio... look for the link on the right! You are invited to have a listen while you explore.

Nearly 40 years old now, and obviously there's been quite a few things happening in my life to date. My aim here is to put down what I consider to be the important episodes from which a reader could draw conclusions about who I am.

I have just spent quite a few minutes thinking about how to continue but I realised I had stumped myself because in my mind I have already stated that I am writing this for a reader, a stranger. However that is not the point of this page, because I realised I want to do this page for me. I am not writing this for you! I'm doing this for me?

When I look back on my life I am trying to pick out what we could call chapter headings and the first one that comes to mind is Pink Floyd. The photos around this writing all come from Pink Floyd The Wall. When I was a child growing up in Salisbury, Rhodesia, this video was banned. The music, The Wall, was also banned.

When I was 17 I left Zimbabwe and went to South Africa. In due course I met a friend who had a copy of the video the Wall. The first time I ever watched this movie was with him in my own flat stop it was also the first time I had lots and lots of marijuana. Not only was this to be my first experience of lots of grass, but it was also my first experience of watching a movie that made me realise I was not alone. I think Pink Floyd is great, and really the one person I would like to meet more than anyone else in this whole world would have to be Roger Waters. I consider him to be the pure top genius behind Pink Floyd.

I once spent about six months listening to his solo LP called The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking. This is truly the work of a genius in my opinion. If you have not heard the pros and cons of hitchhiking, and you like Pink Floyd's stuff, I think you are in for a treat.

From birth to seven years old

I lived with my mum and dad and my sister in a little house in the middle of the African bush I don't know exactly but I'm sure we had a dozen acres also of ground around us and probably there was only 10 houses with in a 10 mi. radius. I do remember as a little boy I had very few, if any, friends, the reason for this was not that I was a horrible person, but of that there was simply no other children living nearby.

I have never thought about the above paragraph before. So that's already I'm determined to continue doing this page. Yes, indeed, I was not a horrible little boy, it was just that my family lived in isolated existence in the middle of nowhere. I do remember going to school, very vaguely, at the age of five or so, but we were due to leave of that town and move to the capital, Salisbury.

Seven years old to 17 years old

When I look back on my life of this was my best times. I have so much to thank my parents for. Basically what happened was our family was very poor but then at around the age of the 11 or so my dad made lots of money. My sister, who was about 15 at the time, was asked by my dad what would she liked more than anything else in the world. Her reply was a racehorse. Well-known behold my sister got a racehorse!

My dad asked me the same question, and my instant reply was a speedboat! A fast one! One with the least 50 horsepower motor two zoom me across the nearby lake. And that was what I did get!

At some time or another I might talk about some of the fun stuff I got up to as a child. Most of it was just silly childish stuff, but I do remember a time when I nearly started going down that path of becoming a bit of a criminal. But even at the age of about 15, a new to myself that I did not want to be a horrible person, and even if it meant not being friends with some certain people I knew, it was worth escaping that peer pressure that could have led me towards a life of semi illegal living.

In time I will be able to post some of the few photos I do have from this. In my life. It is strange that nearly all the photos I do have use of objects, ie my motorbike, or my racing go-kart, or the above-mentioned speedboat. There's not many photos of me. And I do find that sad, when one is an adult and one does not have that many photos of himself as a child.

Obviously 30 years ago photographs was quite expensive to create and produce, these are the days before instant `throwaway cameras. And of course certainly before this new digital age! I really hope of that parents would make an effort to keep a record of their children growing up because the some adults it is very beneficial to see yourself as a child.

I have spent a lot of my early twenties pondering and sometimes obsessively analysing my childhood. Because I have an interest in psychology, and the psychodynamics of my mental existence, I have realised that careful looking at once past can be very helpful.

Malaria

I was about the 11 or 12 years old when I got malaria. Unfortunately my parents didn't realise I had malaria and I thought it was just a very bad flu. However I do remember some of the vivid hallucinations I experienced. It was truly when I realised that at the end of the day every human is alone. There was no one on earth who could experience those who hallucinations like I was experiencing. Because, all hallucinations are very, extremely very personal. It is impossible for two people to see the same things in that state.

For me it was made much worse by my mother not realising precisely what I was going through. I was trying to tell her about the monsters and creatures climbing out the walls but of course she did not understand that I was genuinely hallucinating. I think this bout of malaria has affected who I am today.

Maybe one day I will look up on the Internet to see what other known effects of Malaria Induced Hallucinations. One thing for sure is it did affect me!

I'm trying to think of more things that happened to me between the ages of 7 and 17. I have lots of good fun memories and I think when I am feeling particularly the oppressed I might force myself to write about those good times. We may be lucky and you will find some of the stories quite funny.

In many ways my childhood then should not have been funny at all. I was living in the Rhodesia Zimbabwean war. I went to an all white boys School, and daily there would be concerns about bombs planted at schools. The closest the wall actually got to me was a little church got blown up about 100 or so yards from my house. I do remember now that the day after that bomb the entire house was covered in dust. Apparently it was not the dust from the actual bomb going off but rather the dust that had been disturbed when the building was shaken by the bombs shockwave.

I believe the terrorists decided to blow up the church because it was also very close to one of the senior army leaders, and the terrorist wanted to prove that they work in the area.

Already we are having a problem was communication because I am using the word is terrorists. When I was a child at school I remember their headmaster would come on to the stage, in assembly, and tell us of that a certain ex-school member had been killed in the war efforts. Sometimes when one of our classmates did not come to school for a few days we all suspected it was due to the fact that his older brother, or worse, his father, had been killed.

Today, some 30 years on, I cannot really use the word terrorist to describe the people who were causing a war in my beloved country. Today these 'terrorists' are known as freedom fighters. They were fighting for the freedom of blacks.

In other area I lived in, and I think it was just after that bomb in the church, the area was declared White by Night. This meant after 9 P.m. the Security Forces Were Authorised to Shoot on Sight Any Black Person.

Me and one particular friend, who I will not mentioned at all, used to go out at night. Quite often I would say I was staying at his house for the night and he would tell his parents that he was staying at mine. Thus we were free! We did go through particular phase where we were breaking into the local schools to steal from the laboratory rats. I did feel sorry for those rats because my sister had to pet rats and they were quite cute. I did not mind the science labs at school using frogs because they are pretty useless, but rats I found different. So we used to go out at night and go to the schools and release the rats.

Boys being boys we did not really think about our actions and gleefully used to use black shoe polish all over our hands and faces so we would not be seen at night. We always used to wear dark clothes as well. I think we would pretend we were ninjas! It is so lucky we were never actually killed because has said the area was declared White by night. We did have one occasion where we were spotted by an army patrol of two and when I tell the story in a pub I might add that they shot at us. This is not totally true, they did shoot one warning shot but I'm sure it was pained well above our heads because we did not hear the bullet hit anything near us. One thing for sure I ran fast?

In time they will be so more stories because I'm sure some of them are funny. I am desperately going to try and inject humour to not only this page but the entire Web Blog.

more to come :)

Kind words from a stranger

2005-11-09T03:08:00.000Z

Well I am having "family" probs, won't be specific, anyway its upset me, no one in my life treats me like trash except one particular person. Anyway I been all upset, even woke up at 3am feeling all hurt feelings etc blahblah but then I have just checked my email and there is note from some total stranger who has just thanked me for this blog effort. Something somewhere I have said they liked...

Hey, to the stranger who did contact me... Thank You. Sometimes a tiny thing done by someone can have a huge profound affect on another. Like they say, the wings of a butterfly in one part of the world can cause a hurricane in another part, so too can kind words cause a seemingly disproportionate outcome.

xXx

Firefox fanbase reaches new high

2005-11-08T12:12:00.000Z

I am scared that if I rave about FireFox too much it is possible I will put people off!

So, instead I think I think I'm not going to rave no more except to say if YOU are using IE then try FireFox because you got nothing to loose...

In America 14.1% are using FireFox while in the UK only 4.9% use it to get around online.

Here's the UK statistics:

1) Microsoft Internet Explorer - 93.37%
2) Mozilla Firefox - 4.94 %
3) Apple Safari - 0.99 %
4) Opera - 0.39 %
5) Netscape - 0.23 %

BBC News got more details here.

Pros and Cons of Hitchiking (Roger Waters Pink Floyd)

2005-11-08T02:23:00.000Z

This is one of my top ten LPs in case you are interested.

Hohoho this new Picasa makes it so easy to pop photos on, hope I don't over-do it! Thanks Goggle... go Gooooooogle go!

Search for ~killing~ filtered by Google Std Search

2005-11-08T01:59:00.000Z

Gosh I could be imaging lots of words could cause Google to filter results but did not realise killing was one! Anyway, at least I know why a post from last week was not on my search facility. It was because the stg google preference setting is moderate filter which means the word killing is too much! Let alone words like fuck, cunt, etc.

Free Google off-line Photo Organiser/cool Display

2005-11-08T01:40:00.000Z

It's nearly 2 am but I got distracted by this new stuff from Google. Absolutely amazing, it sorts all your photos on your hard drive into one lovely to look at... ah see for yourself. The TIMELINE view is so cool you will drool...

Find and enjoy the pictures on your computer in seconds.
A free software download from Google.

Picasa is software that helps you instantly find, edit and share all the pictures on your PC. Every time you open Picasa, it automatically locates all your pictures (even ones you forgot you had) and sorts them into visual albums organised by date with folder names you will recognize. You can drag and drop to arrange your albums and make labels to create new groups. Picasa makes sure your pictures are always organised.

Picasa also makes advanced editing simple by putting one-click fixes and powerful effects at your fingertips. And Picasa makes it a snap to share your pictures – you can email, print photos home, make gift CDs, instantly share via Hello™, and even post pictures on your own blog.

Hey it don't mess around with anything on your hard-drive, it don't send info off to Google, so try it. It's free cause they ?

Know it's so good that once 50 million people use it they can sneak in adverts or charge? I don't know, but it is free and Google are not paying me to promote their gear!

Here's their homepage!

a picture for you

2005-11-08T01:10:00.000Z

You have been sent 1 picture.

about_1.jpg

These pictures were sent with Picasa, from Google.
Try it out here: http://picasa.google.com/

Audio is up and running

2005-11-07T23:41:00.000Z

Look for this picture on the right hand side and click to bring up audio window.

Randomized Drivel: Boy Beaten on Halloween In Coma

2005-11-07T23:15:00.000Z

Randomized Drivel: Boy Beaten on Halloween In Coma: "Randomized Drivel"

The above blog has got lots of drivel and is a good read.

Killing P (part 1 of about 300 pages!)

2005-11-07T23:05:00.000Z

This is a repeat post from last month because for some strange reason the search engines have not picked it up. Well search-spider come get "Killing P"

Just thought I'd paste a bit of one of my unfinished novels...

Killing P
part 1 of about 300 pages!
by TopDaz
copyright 2005

Killing P

She knew her husband would be a bit upset. He’d say it was a waste of money. Which maybe it was, their bedroom carpet was less than a year old. But she hated the colour and pattern the moment it was fitted. It just looked wrong and seriously clashed with the Italian tile-flooring in the en-suite bathroom. The pinkish shade looked fine as a small sample in the showroom but covering her entire bedroom floor it looked horrible. After living with it for an eternity she’d bitten the bullet and had ordered a new fitted carpet.

First thing that morning she walked the dog then took her two children to school, did some grocery shopping, returned home and vacuumed under the bed and behind the furniture in her bedroom. 10 to 10 she was ready for the disruption. They were due at 10 and promised they’d be finished well before 2. The time her husband finished work. Everything in her bedroom had to be taken out, old carpet lifted, new carpet fitted and everything returned.

Once the carpet-men were half an hour late she was getting worried thinking they were not going to keep the appointment and she’d taken a whole day off work for nothing. However while she debated whether to phone the showroom or not, the doorbell rang and it was them.

She took the two men upstairs and showed them the space in her daughter’s bedroom where they could temporarily store most of the furniture from hers’. All four bedrooms in the house were bigger than average, so there was plenty of room. The two men started work and she politely asked, “Would you like a mug of tea?”

“That would be nice, missus, three sugars.”
“Two sugars.” The other man said.

“Only be a minute.” Janet left the men upstairs and went down to the kitchen. She kept a couple of mugs specially for strangers. She hated workmen in her house. She had this vision that as soon as they were alone they’d be rummaging through her things. She heard a large thump upstairs. Or breaking everything! She frowned. Well, in a few hours they’ll be gone and she could enjoy her new carpet. It was a soft green with no patterns and once she bought new curtains and duvet cover her bedroom would be much nicer.

Husband Thomas will moan, she thought, they were reasonably well off but they could not afford £500 every 10 months because she was bored with the carpet and curtains in her bedroom. Oops, their bedroom.

She left the kettle to boil and went upstairs. The two men were carrying the big chest of drawers out her room and it was very heavy. Both men were red-faced. “Sorry,” Janet said, “but do you know that I want to keep the underlay. Have they told you?”

“Yes, missus, we know. That carpet is quite new. Very good underlay we fitted too. I was the one who fitted it just before Christmas. Do you remember me?”

Janet felt herself blushing slightly because she did not recognise him at all. “Umn yes, I thought you, umn, I vaguely remember you, yes. I’ll get your mugs of tea now.”

A few minutes later she returned with a tray and 3 biscuits for each man. Amazingly already they had taken all the furniture out her bedroom. “Gosh it looks so big with nothing in it!” She exclaimed.

“Thank you for the tea and biscuits. And well, Mrs Johnson, I was wondering, what are you doing with this carpet?” He gestured towards the pink patterned carpet.

“Oh, I was hoping you could take it away.”

“Yes, yes we can, are you saying you don’t want it.”

“Of course not! What would I do with it?”

“Well, Mrs Johnson, me and my dear want to get a new carpet for our daughter but, well, with everything else..... could I have it?”

“Oh of course. You’re welcome to it. Actually it would make me feel better to think it’s being recycled.” She paused then abruptly added, “So to speak. Of course as long as you take it today.”

“Yes, yes, I can pop it in the van. But there is a slight problem, Mrs Johnson, you see if you sign this form and say we’ve taken the carpet then it goes straight into the yard and I can’t buy it from the shop. Company policy or something. All old carpets are sent to a place where they get ripped up. The fibre is recycled. Could you, well, could we say that you want to keep the carpet, on here.....” He held out his clipboard with the delivery note. “But really I take and so me gov thinks you’ve kept the carpet and he will never know you gave it to me.”

While the man was saying all this Janet Johnson was feeling opposed because suddenly a simple request was getting complex. Then she thought about the man’s daughter and, looking over her 10 month old immaculate carpet, thought why not. It would make her feel less guilty. “Yes, yes, that’s fine. Just show me where to write I’ve kept it. Now, my husband will be back in 3 hours time will you be finished before then?”

The other man, the one who’d said nothing but 2-sugars, spoke: “Take another 40 minutes it will, you keeping the underlay so it’s quick.” He walked over to the corner of the room and with a small little hook-like tool started to disconnect the carpet from the wall. “That’s odd.” He muttered. Within moments he had the carpet lifted at the edges and was starting to roll it up. Janet was just about to leave and let them get on with it when the big brown envelopes caught everyone’s eyes.

As the two men rolled the carpet up they uncovered 3 very big envelopes which looked fairly flat and without bulky contents. They were between the underlay and carpet positioned under the place where the double bed was. Janet was astounded because Ronald must have put them there. “Oh yes, I’ll take them, thank you.” She virtually snatched the large but flat brown envelopes from the foreman who’d collected them for her. “Any more she asked?”

“Let’s see, just this bit now, well, sorry, missus, but if you stood over here we’ll be able to roll it up.” The two men completed rolling the carpet and found find no more envelopes. “Just those 3!” he said. “Shouldn’t keep valuable documents under the carpet.” He said in a friendly way.

“I know.” She stammered.

“Well, if you could just move out the way a bit we’ll get this carpet down into the van and bring your new one up. Nice colour the new one isn’t it?”

Janet did not hear. She was highly puzzled by the envelopes and just wanted privacy so she could open them. All three were sealed and nothing was written externally. Each one felt like it contained heavy paper, or card, or money! Maybe Thomas was saving in these envelopes as a surprise. Janet went downstairs and as soon as the men had manipulated the long sausage-like roll of carpet out her front door she opened one of the envelopes.

The foreman thought something was wrong when they re-entered the house with the new carpet. Mrs Johnson looked shocked and pale but he dismissed it because he was more concerned about getting the new rolled carpet through the house without knocking pictures off the walls. She’s probably unhappy with this colour already, he smirked internally. They carried it upstairs and, in what seemed just a handful of minutes to Janet, were back downstairs.

“All finished now.” The foreman said.

Janet forced herself to concentrate. “What, already, is the furniture back as well?” The previous half an hour appeared to have shot past in an instant.

“It is. Everything back where it was. If you’d like to come up with me to see?” He asked, pulling a pen from behind his ear, “then just sign this to say it’s all in place and fine. Here, you see, I’ve put ‘customer changed mind and wants to retain carpet’. You see this?” He hel his clipboard up.

Janet tried to focus on the form but wasn’t interested. She took the clipboard and signed in the box.

“Don’t you want to inspect our fitting?” He asked with surprise, normally everyone checked the fitment before signing.

“No no, thank you, you did a good job last time so it must be fine. Thank you.” Janet stood up. “Thank you, well then.... goodbye.”

“Right then, we’ll be off now.” The man nervously laughed because he was hanging around a bit because last time this woman had given him a ten pound tip. Never mind, he thought, he’d get at least 50 for the carpet. He spoke out loud then, to finalise, “Well, thank you for your old carpet, my daughter will be happy. Bye now.”

Janet waited until the men drove away and went to make a cup of tea for herself. She started to fill the kettle but her hands were shaking so much she was unable to. She felt dizzy and so sat down on a stool. She was shocked in so many ways she could not think. It felt as if she had been in a car crash and was half concussed. She was stunned, paralysed with disbelief. She stared into a closed cupboard until her vision blurred and she broke down into a session of uncontrollable tears.

Her brother, luckily, was at home. Well, it wasn’t a home in the traditional sense, it was a bedsit and a seriously dirty place. Janet Johnson’s house was immaculate and she was very appearance conscious, however her brother was the opposite, he lived in a dirty smelly room and he often looked unkempt and dirty himself. He had a serious alcohol problem. Normally he didn’t bother to answer the phone because mostly it was not for him. This time, uncharacteristically, he did. “What?” He demanded.

“It’s me Johnny.”
“Who?”
“Me! Janny.”
“Oh you don’t sound like you.”
“Johnny please come over now.”

John could detect an unfamiliar serious strangeness in his sister’s voice. “What is it, what’s the matter?” He asked half-earnistly.

“Can you come immediately? Get a taxi and I’ll pay the driver when you get here.”
“That’ll cost more than 30 or 50 quid.”
“Johnny just come now please. I’ll pay the taxi when you get here.”
“What’s the matter siss? You sound weird.”
“Johnny as quick as you can.....” Janet hung up.

John dialled her number but it was engaged. He was mixed with apprehension and annoyance. Why was she so upset and why didn’t she tell him why he must go there now. Something was wrong for sure, but what? He tried phoning for her quite afew more times until he gave up, got another dialling tone and phoned the local taxi firm. Annoyed.

Within a few minutes John was outside the building waiting for the taxi. They said it would be there within 5 minutes. It was very early in the day for John. Most days he didn’t get out of bed before 1 or 2pm. He wished he’d brushed his teeth and had a cup of coffee and maybe even a can of larger. He could feel a layer of scummy stuff on his teeth. He felt terrible: the night before he’d been drinking seriously.

A car pulled up and it was not a taxi. “John!” Someone shouted.

John stooped to look at the driver and it was a guy called Pete. They had met in the holding cells of the local police station a few months ago and a few times since then had met in the pub. They had had quite a few laughs together.

“What you doing? You look like shit!” Pete wound down the passenger window. He had lots of tattoos but John had got used to them.

“Going to my sister’s, she’s paying for a taxi it’ll be 40 quid at least.”
“Give me 30 and I’ll take you.” Pete offered, scratching his ear.
“Yeah sure mate.” John jumped in the car and Pete sped forward dangeriously. The car behind started blowing the horn and Pete shouted “Fuck off” out his window.

John gave him the directions and soon they were zooming down a dual carriageway. Pete was chatting no-stop but John was wondering what was wrong at his sister’s.

“Light it up!” Pete poked John’s thoughts and ribs then passed him a big cone-shaped joint. “Fucking top gear man.” Pete’s grin was large and nearly banished the tattooed tears falling from his one eye.

John sat back in the car and smoked half the Marianna joint. He didn’t smoke cannabis everyday and found that when he did, it really did spin him out a bit. He passed it back to Pete but he refused it and started saying:

“John you know anyone who wants some base. I tell you this speed is like nothing you’ve had before.” He went off chatting away about a friend who had some of his new supply of amphetamine sulphate and didn’t sleep for 4 days.

By the time they had reached his sister’s street John was glad to get away from Pete. He had been talking non-stop for the last 20 minutes and John was feeling stoned and just wanted to mellow out somewhere peaceful and calm. “Okay here. Look, give me say 30 minutes. I’ll find out what’s going on and then I’ll give you 30 pounds. Maybe we can go to a pub or something. Are you okay waiting here?”

“I’ve got fuck all else to do. Mightaswell, I’ll just go down there.” Pete pointed down the middle-class suburban road where there were few houses hidden by huge gardens. “I need a another line like. I’ll be parked down there by that park.”

John knocked on the door and his sister answered. Her appearance shocked him because her eyes looked swollen and sore. Her makeup was all streaky and her hair was not in it’s normal perfect style. She held up her purse: “Taxi money.”

“No worry, my friend gave me a lift and I promised him a 50. What’s happened Jan?”

Janet let her brother in and closed the door firmly behind them. She walked silently into the plush lounge and picked up one of the envelopes. She passed it over to John and said, so quietly he could hardly hear, “Look at this.”

Killing P part 1 of about 300 pages!
by TopDaz

Try TopDaz streaming audio

2005-11-07T21:03:00.000Z

On the right, maybe down the page, you will see the link for the new streaming audio. Should work fine even on slow connection? If you leave the page the sound will go off so maybe soon I will have it pop up into a little independent window. Because some music will come soon too so it will will not just be my blah blah.

Don't be Shy

2005-11-07T20:55:00.000Z

Google Video worlds biggest online video stash

2005-11-07T17:50:00.000Z

Yeah I'm wasting time on the www.

Just thought maybe a reader reading now is unaware of all the free videos on offer from Google Video Beta

Try it if you've got a fast connection.

Massive wave video but does surfer die?

2005-11-07T16:28:00.000Z

Just found a video I downloaded from somewhere sometime ago. It's about this surfer going down the biggest wave you have ever seen. Wow, man this wave is twenty times higher than the 6 foot bloke 4 real! Maybe one day I'll set up a nice little page you can watch it while it instantly streams but for the moment download it from here, right-click save as) or try playing it in your browser window after a long wait by just clicking here

Sure hope that was not the last wave he ever did ride but if it was I bet all surfers would like to go this way and not road-kill under some bus.

Been bashing frustration on online drums

2005-11-07T16:17:00.000Z

Hey, I thought it was odd the creator gave himself no credit then while I was bashing away so loud the dogs across the road started barking I clicked on the fan.

Here presto (allow browser to allow popup) his fan page!

Count me in!

why the f post twice?

2005-11-07T16:11:00.000Z

You know, you won't believe it and nor do I but for some dumb reason the post below decided to double itself.

Just to f annoy me?

Thats impossible it seems yet it seems sometimes technology knows when I'm black-mood and it always stirs up more-than-normal SH*T...

Sorry but I am going to leave the double and not remove it. Just to remind me to be nice and friendly to my comp... haha hehe off to funny farm soon!

How many posts will have DOWN in title?

2005-11-07T15:57:00.001Z

Yeah,
not in mood to post but...

will RAVE about KenBrashear.com - Kens Virtual Drumkit which you play online with your mouse. Turn up your speakers loud and go for it. No registration rubbish nor crap, just the goods! Here's some comments from StumbleUpon

Ken, you're a star! Such a brilliant way to unload anger, bash out frustration and even bring a smile to depression! Got a rave 4 u on my blog, topdaz.blogspot.com Thank you. Brilliant stuff. topdaz

by TrinaKay, Nov 1, 4:59pm
I love it! Makes me feel just like a kid!
by Jantipa, Oct 26, 3:58pm
I think my neighbours hate me now... :P
by duckbot, Oct 24, 7:37am
sweet
by cybergull, Sep 24, 12:05pm
Toom toom paw paf toom toom ... etc...etc... Love it
by crazyscarytom, Sep 24, 3:17am
Better if it showed you how to play them.
by dgallie, Sep 23, 8:59am
Great, former drummer, love it. How do you turn the fan on?
by malpractice-19, Sep 23, 3:04am
perfect time waster
by RK, Sep 22, 6:40am
nice job!!

blahblah it is good!

Try it here

There's no point of me raving more because why? I suggest try it... you do want you want :)

How many posts will have DOWN in title?

2005-11-07T15:57:00.000Z

Ken, you're a star! Such a brilliant way to unload anger, bash out frustration and even bring a smile to depression! Got a rave 4 u on my blog, topdaz.blogspot.com Thank you. Brilliant stuff. topdaz

by TrinaKay, Nov 1, 4:59pm
I love it! Makes me feel just like a kid!
by Jantipa, Oct 26, 3:58pm
I think my neighbours hate me now... :P
by duckbot, Oct 24, 7:37am
sweet
by cybergull, Sep 24, 12:05pm
Toom toom paw paf toom toom ... etc...etc... Love it
by crazyscarytom, Sep 24, 3:17am
Better if it showed you how to play them.
by dgallie, Sep 23, 8:59am
Great, former drummer, love it. How do you turn the fan on?
by malpractice-19, Sep 23, 3:04am
perfect time waster
by RK, Sep 22, 6:40am
nice job!!

blahblah it is good!

Try it here

There's no point of me raving more because why? I suggest try it... you do want you want :)

Search Added --- try it!

2005-11-05T10:34:00.000Z

Hello
I've just added a search bar (on the right) using Google Blog Search. Some of my tests indicate that within 20 minutes or so of posting Google have got the post in their server farm just waiting for you to try it!
Go on, try my new (thanks to Google) search facility!

True blahblah shouldn't be blog

2005-11-04T22:49:00.000Z

Well I have just spent most of the evening surfing and it is so easy to whittle away the hours looking at nothing in particular. I did spend quite some time looking at a company web site specialising in satellite communications. It is amazing the gadgets they are making nowadays. They now have a gadget which is smaller than an average laptop and yet it is able to do broadband virtually anywhere in the world. It rather limited though, because it can't go through a ceiling or roof and it must have line of sight with the open sky.

I also stumbled across a web site about a cattle and horse ranch in midwest USA which specialises in troubled teenagers. The photos of the place look so much like a concentration camp! More amusing is their dress code. I am not in the mood to talk about anything now so I will have to stop.

Tomorrow is another day...

Stolen Photo

2005-11-04T20:14:00.000Z

I saw this image and tried to save it.
Don't know why...
Yes I do, it's those eyes...
The site would not let me save it regular
so I stole it using screen capture...
Pity the sparkle died
But at least I tried...

Here's the original.

EIGHT FOOT the Magic Octopus

2005-11-04T19:36:00.000Z

Found some old writing of mine. This was due to be a kids story but don't think I still have the rest of it, think the rest has gone when I did an upgrade a few years ago and lost lots of stuff.

EIGHT FOOT the Magic Octopus

CHAPTER ONE

David had never talked to an octopus before. Come to think of it, this was the first time he had ever even seen an octopus. He'd seen pictures, of course, but never a real live one. David was sure that his sister, Susan , who was a year younger than he, would never believe him. Yet here he was standing up to his knees in the cold sea water talking to an octopus. It was a huge octopus! Really big and yet it did not look scary. In fact, David thought, the octopus looked half way between a real one and a cartoon one. How odd! It seemedreally animated. Was he seeing things?

David and Susan had come down to the sea with their mum and dad. It was the summer holidays and they had six glorious weeks to spend down along the beach.

David’s parents and sister were higher up along the beach. He was allowed to go anywhere he wanted along the beach as long as he did not go beyond the boundaries his dad had set for him. The rule was dad had to be able to see David always. And he always had to wear his huge yellow hat so he’d be easier distinguished. Of course never speak to strangers and "shout, yell, run and tell" if a stranger starts to try and befriend you.

David saw the octopus underneath the old pier. The pier was not is use. It was really old. It was all so rusted that it was no longer safe. Maybe a hundred years ago it looked grand but now it was derelict. This was the first time David had plucked up enough courage to actually explore the area under the pier. It was really dark and foreboding.

"What is your name?" asked the octopus.

"My name is David ," replied the boy in total surprise.

"Hello David , you may call me Eightfoot." said the octopus. "And do you know where the name Eightfoot comes from?"

"Is it because you have eight of them long legs, or arms, or whatever?” asked David. This was mad. No he was going mad! Animals don’t talk and Doctor Dolittle is make-belief!

"They are actually called tentacles, but yes, that is right.” The octopus had a rather posh voice. "Now, lets see if you know where the name octopus comes from."

"No, I don't know," said David with a thoughtful shake of his head.

"Well, octopus comes from the Latin words eight and foot. The 'oct' part means eight and then the ‘pus’ part means foot.” The octopus then seemed to smile and said, “But all my friends call me Eightfoot," said the octopus, “and I want you to be my friend because I have lots to show you!” The octopus waited before adding: “You children are really important for the world because when you grow up you have to look after the world for all the creatures who live on it. Like me!”

"May I call you Eightfoot ?" asked David.

"Well, are you my friend?" asked Eightfoot. “Do you care about this planet and more importantly, do you care about the sea?”

"Yes I do.” This was the truth David spoke “ And I would very much like to be your friend.” David laughed really hard then giggled, “I have never had an octopus for a friend before!"

"Then you shall be my friend. And if you run up the beach and call Susan then she will be my friend as well." said Eightfoot the octopus.

David was very surprised. “How do you know my name?”

The octopus said simply: “I am a magic octopus of course!”

David was glad the octopus was so friendly. Had it been nasty he could be inside the octopus right now! Instead he was running up the sunny warm beach towards his family. David wanted to tell his sister. He’d have to tell her quietly about the octopus so his mum and dad wouldn’t hear. Grown-ups simply wouldn’t believe it!

“Susan, guess what?” David asked her quietly. He then told her all about the octopus. She was reluctant to come down to the pier because she did not believe him.

"I don't believe you," said Susan. "You are just making it all up. Who ever heard of an octopus that talks? You are really ridiculous David."

"You'll see for yourself, come on let’s hurry."

David told Susan about the moment he had first seen the octopus. At first he did not know what it was. All David could see was this big arm like tentacle holding onto one of the pillars supporting the pier. David thought it was just some seaweed. But after it had moved David knew it was something alive. He had stayed very quietly by the waters edge until he had seen some more of these arms appear from the water.

It was only when David tripped over his shoelace did the entire octopus rise out the water. The octopus lifted itself out the water and had looked at David. David was petrified. The octopus was huge. Its arms were each as long as he was, and each arm was covered in two rows of pink suckers. David had never seen a real live octopus before and it looked so fearsome.

David tried to run away from the octopus but he fell over his shoelace again. Eventually David became so scared that he nearly began to cry. And that was when the octopus had first spoken to him.

The octopus had told him not to be afraid because it would not harm him.

David had said, "You look so fearsome that I thought you were going to try to catch me and eat me."

The octopus laughed and said, "What, a beautiful mollusc like me, eat something as indigestible as a little boy, never!"

"What is that mollusc thing you said." asked David.

"Ha, a mollusc is the scientific name you land creatures call us octopuses," answered the octopus proudly.

Susan did not believe her brother but to keep him happy she followed him down towards the pier. It looked dark and spooky.

When they both went under the pier it took them a while so see clearly. It was amazing how dark it was. "Look," shouted David, "under this pier over it is. It said it would wait for us. It knew your name too!"

"I can't see your octopus," answered Susan. "Are you sure you not joking? And as if it knew my name! What am I saying, Susan shook her head negatively. "I don't believe it can talk to start with! Let alone you even saw it in the very first place."

"I promise I saw it."

"Well where is it?" asked Susan.

Then the octopus spoke, "Here I am!"

Susan was so surprised she did not know what to say. No, she was so surprised she couldn't say anything.

David said, "Here is my sister Sir."

"Sir?" Stated the octopus, solemnly, "please use my name, Eightfoot. And hello, young lady, you are David's sister."

"I am, and my name is Susan.”

"Rather pleased to meet you, Susan. I know you love nature. I know you even try not to eat dead animals. Is this the first time you have spoken to an octopus?"

"Well yes, actually I'd never even seen a real live octopus before,” said Susan.

Then David asked Eightfoot the octopus, "What is it like to be able to swim underwater."

"What!" exclaimed Eightfoot, "have you never swum underwater?"

"No." he replied.

"Well," said Eightfoot, "I will just have to show you."

David was very excited. He had see so many films of divers wearing all those air tanks and things who were able to stay under the water for long times. David wanted to be a professional diver when he grew up. He would look for treasure in old ships which had sunk hundreds of years ago.

"How long can you hold your breath for?" asked Eightfoot.

"Quite long, I think," said David. He then pulled in a big breath and held it. After a few moments his face was red and he had to breathe again.

Susan tried, but she also could not hold her breath for very long.

"I see," said Eightfoot the octopus. "That is not quite long enough. But you two are lucky. I am special magic octopus."

David and Susan looked at each other. Susan shrugged. They had never heard of a magic octopus.

Susan said, "I did not know that there were magic octopuses."

Eightfoot looked at the two children and then waved his arms about in the air, "Ha, but you did not even know that octopuses could speak, did you?"

David and Susan had to admit it. If they ever told anyone they’d talked to an octopus they would think they were crazy. If an octopus could speak then it was also magic. They supposed quite readily.

"As I was saying," continued Eightfoot, "I am a magic octopus. So if you were both to each have one of my special magic pills you would be able to breathe underwater for as long as a fish," he paused, "and as you should know, a fish can breathe water for ever."

"Do you really have these magic pills?" asked David. He was feeling so excited. It looked like at last he was to be able to swim underwater. "And will you take me to see sunken ships; find treasure? Will we see Jaws the shark and Orca the killer whale?"

"And will we see the biggest whale in the world?” Asked Susan.

"And ride on a dolphin!" added David.

"See a mermaid?"

"Giant Squids!"

"Hold on you two, hold on," said Eightfoot. "If you will promise to be good I will take. I don't know about sharks and killer whales, but I'll take you to my cave and introduce you to my wife."

"Ah brill!" shouted David, "this is going to be the greatest adventure of my life." None of them knew just how true that was.

The two children were about to experience the greatest underwater adventure any person had ever had.

"Thank you Mr. Eightfoot", said Susan with a sophisticated voice. She waded into the water to formally greet the octopus with a handshake.

“Hang on!” Said David. “I am the oldest and I always look after my sister. I’ve just thought that there is no ways we will take a pill. Even from you, a so-called magic octopus. How do we know the pill won’t kill us?”

The octopus put quite of few of its arms to its chin. “Well done. Never ever take anything from a stranger. Not even a magically octopus like me. Let me think.”

Susan realised her brother was right. Not even the chance of swimming like a fish underwater would tempt the clever two kids. Never take pills from strangers! Susan thought of something else important. “And we can’t come with you underwater because we’ve promised to always stay where our parents can see us. And they can’t see us under there!” She swept her hand out to sea.

“I know!” Said Eightfoot, “Simple!” He lifted himself high as if he was swelling his chest with pride. “I will simply stop the world.”

“What?” Susan and David queried at the same time.

“You two are so silly. I am magic, I’ll just stop everything. Watch…”

Then right before the children’s eyes the most remarkable thing in the world happened. David just could not believe it. Susan also could not believe it. Wow! The children stood with their mouths open... They were both looking at all the other people on the beach. Especially did they look at two little children playing with a ball because everything was frozen! Every person on the beach was totally frozen still. Not a human moved. Everyone except David and Susan were suspended still by the magic octopus...

I am a bit sad the rest of this story has gone as it got better!

Friday Night and Alcohol

2005-11-04T17:49:00.000Z

I thought I would just start to compose a little post while I wait for my stew to finish cooking. It's late Friday afternoon and I am not going out tonight, but I do wish I was. Gosh, I have just said that I wish I was going out, when I thought my mind was saying I wanted to stay in: to work.

That good old-fashioned saying "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", or whatever it is, is true. I am feeling a bit dull because I had spent too much time on a computer. Actually, since I started this blogg and my other computer projects two weeks ago, I have probably only had five hours socialising. That's not enough!

And tomorrow night is Guy Fawkes night, and I don't really have anything planned for that. Partly because I can't believe it's a year already since Guy Fawkes last year.

I can remember when I was younger older people would say that Time travels faster the older you get, and I really did not believe it. But it is true. It really does seem that the older you get the shorter years become!

So I'm sitting here feeling a little bit sad and lonely because I could have been out with my friends. Part of my brain says I could not afford to go out, and I need to save money, but another part of my mind knows that is just an excuse. Yeah, I am really low on money, but I know I could have afforded to get myself a sixpack of beers and meander over to their house. Maybe I will go over there tomorrow and stop thinking about my decision now.

I have decided to stay in tonight and do some work and that is what I will do!

This is making me come to terms with another of my problems, namely, indecisiveness. Sometimes I find it really hard to make a decision and even once I have made my decision I continually reanalyse it to ensure it was right. Talk about a waste of time! I really need to train myself to make a decision and then stop thinking about it.

Okay I wonder if my stew is nearly ready. Nothing fancy, just a few ragged bits of cheap meat thrown in a pot with bits of available seasoning. Talking about food makes me think I will try and find the link to the blogg of the fellow who makes amazing meals just for himself. Sadly I am one of those people who hardly bothers to cook anything nice for myself. When I do cook I think it is good, but I'm also scared to cook for others, possibly because I'm so scared they won't like it and my self-esteem is constantly worried it will take another bashing. Funny how that has changed over the years... my self-esteem.

At the moment it is virtually nonexistent. Yet years ago, in my early twenties, my self-esteem was probably too high. So I'm gone from being an overconfident cocky know-it-all to a sad old fart who continually undersells himself. Silly me I should try and find that evasive balance.

I started today with my blogg saying I didn't know what I wanted to do today, and surprise surprise, I have done nothing. So far. But I suppose we have a long evening ahead of us and maybe I will not be able to achieve something concrete.

Content dear CONTENT

2005-11-04T11:01:00.000Z

Content dear content I have so much of you!

Oh yes I do...

When oh when will i get myself into my office and take this blog seriously?

First Rant: I fn HATE daz clothes wash shit

2005-11-04T10:32:00.000Z

Yeah, I forgot blogs can be used to rant. I fucking so much hate Daz Clothes Washing stuff. It gave me such bad itch by my balls and arse I had to go to my doctor. She sent me to VD clinic!!!! Fucking hate hate hate DAZ clothes shit, when VD clinic said I was clear (relief) my doc casually said...

maybe u should change your washing powder?

I fucking hate forever DAZ washing powder!

Wish I was not a Perfectionist

2005-11-04T10:05:00.000Z

Wish I was not a Perfectionist, I really really do!

I have many faults, but I think the one that causes me the most trouble is that of being a perfectionist. I know logically that nothing on earth or indeed in the universe is perfect, and yet I am so determined to be perfect!

I have spent many bad days, and perhaps even many years pondering the plight of perfectionism. At the end of my thoughts I concluded that perfectionism comes from the fact that we are spiritual beings locked in to the imperfect relms of a physical monkey. Our spirit, or soul, or that something indivisible inside us that makes us who we really are, should not have been placed in the relms of an animal. All of us, as human beings, are supposed to be free spirits. But for some reason or another, and that is why we have religion, we have been locked in to a physical form.

Our spiritual self is not really designed to be was in the rounds of a physical being. That is why I have realised that God has a sense of humour.

And I know my problem can often be defined as I am a perfectionist. Many many years ago I used to think that being a perfectionist was a good thing, ie, you do everything perfect. But when you get into this field too deep and too long you realised that nothing can ever be perfect. "Perfect" does not, cannot, and never will be. And too right to!

Because if everything that was perfect you would get nothing mutating away from the norm and thus evolution could not ever happen.

And so I know it is so stupid too try and always be perfect. But for me it is so easy to dive in to that round. I want to do some tweeks on the template and layout of this web site and I have not got it perfect. In fact it is far from perfect, I know I am no artist!

So instead I will just ignore any minor blemishes and get on with content.

Killing P (part 1)

2005-11-04T09:03:00.000Z

Just thought I'd paste a bit of one of my unfinished novels...

Killing P
part 1 of about 300 pages!
by TopDaz
copyright 2005

Killing P

She knew her husband would be a bit upset. He’d say it was a waste of money. Which maybe it was, their bedroom carpet was less than a year old. But she hated the colour and pattern the moment it was fitted. It just looked wrong and seriously clashed with the Italian tile-flooring in the en-suite bathroom. The pinkish shade looked fine as a small sample in the showroom but covering her entire bedroom floor it looked horrible. After living with it for an eternity she’d bitten the bullet and had ordered a new fitted carpet.

First thing that morning she walked the dog then took her two children to school, did some grocery shopping, returned home and vacuumed under the bed and behind the furniture in her bedroom. 10 to 10 she was ready for the disruption. They were due at 10 and promised they’d be finished well before 2. The time her husband finished work. Everything in her bedroom had to be taken out, old carpet lifted, new carpet fitted and everything returned.

Once the carpet-men were half an hour late she was getting worried thinking they were not going to keep the appointment and she’d taken a whole day off work for nothing. However while she debated whether to phone the showroom or not, the doorbell rang and it was them.

She took the two men upstairs and showed them the space in her daughter’s bedroom where they could temporarily store most of the furniture from hers’. All four bedrooms in the house were bigger than average, so there was plenty of room. The two men started work and she politely asked, “Would you like a mug of tea?”

“That would be nice, missus, three sugars.”
“Two sugars.” The other man said.

“Only be a minute.” Janet left the men upstairs and went down to the kitchen. She kept a couple of mugs specially for strangers. She hated workmen in her house. She had this vision that as soon as they were alone they’d be rummaging through her things. She heard a large thump upstairs. Or breaking everything! She frowned. Well, in a few hours they’ll be gone and she could enjoy her new carpet. It was a soft green with no patterns and once she bought new curtains and duvet cover her bedroom would be much nicer.

Husband Thomas will moan, she thought, they were reasonably well off but they could not afford £500 every 10 months because she was bored with the carpet and curtains in her bedroom. Oops, their bedroom.

She left the kettle to boil and went upstairs. The two men were carrying the big chest of drawers out her room and it was very heavy. Both men were red-faced. “Sorry,” Janet said, “but do you know that I want to keep the underlay. Have they told you?”

“Yes, missus, we know. That carpet is quite new. Very good underlay we fitted too. I was the one who fitted it just before Christmas. Do you remember me?”

Janet felt herself blushing slightly because she did not recognise him at all. “Umn yes, I thought you, umn, I vaguely remember you, yes. I’ll get your mugs of tea now.”

A few minutes later she returned with a tray and 3 biscuits for each man. Amazingly already they had taken all the furniture out her bedroom. “Gosh it looks so big with nothing in it!” She exclaimed.

“Thank you for the tea and biscuits. And well, Mrs Johnson, I was wondering, what are you doing with this carpet?” He gestured towards the pink patterned carpet.

“Oh, I was hoping you could take it away.”

“Yes, yes we can, are you saying you don’t want it.”

“Of course not! What would I do with it?”

“Well, Mrs Johnson, me and my dear want to get a new carpet for our daughter but, well, with everything else..... could I have it?”

“Oh of course. You’re welcome to it. Actually it would make me feel better to think it’s being recycled.” She paused then abruptly added, “So to speak. Of course as long as you take it today.”

“Yes, yes, I can pop it in the van. But there is a slight problem, Mrs Johnson, you see if you sign this form and say we’ve taken the carpet then it goes straight into the yard and I can’t buy it from the shop. Company policy or something. All old carpets are sent to a place where they get ripped up. The fibre is recycled. Could you, well, could we say that you want to keep the carpet, on here.....” He held out his clipboard with the delivery note. “But really I take and so me gov thinks you’ve kept the carpet and he will never know you gave it to me.”

While the man was saying all this Janet Johnson was feeling opposed because suddenly a simple request was getting complex. Then she thought about the man’s daughter and, looking over her 10 month old immaculate carpet, thought why not. It would make her feel less guilty. “Yes, yes, that’s fine. Just show me where to write I’ve kept it. Now, my husband will be back in 3 hours time will you be finished before then?”

The other man, the one who’d said nothing but 2-sugars, spoke: “Take another 40 minutes it will, you keeping the underlay so it’s quick.” He walked over to the corner of the room and with a small little hook-like tool started to disconnect the carpet from the wall. “That’s odd.” He muttered. Within moments he had the carpet lifted at the edges and was starting to roll it up. Janet was just about to leave and let them get on with it when the big brown envelopes caught everyone’s eyes.

As the two men rolled the carpet up they uncovered 3 very big envelopes which looked fairly flat and without bulky contents. They were between the underlay and carpet positioned under the place where the double bed was. Janet was astounded because Ronald must have put them there. “Oh yes, I’ll take them, thank you.” She virtually snatched the large but flat brown envelopes from the foreman who’d collected them for her. “Any more she asked?”

“Let’s see, just this bit now, well, sorry, missus, but if you stood over here we’ll be able to roll it up.” The two men completed rolling the carpet and found find no more envelopes. “Just those 3!” he said. “Shouldn’t keep valuable documents under the carpet.” He said in a friendly way.

“I know.” She stammered.

“Well, if you could just move out the way a bit we’ll get this carpet down into the van and bring your new one up. Nice colour the new one isn’t it?”

Janet did not hear. She was highly puzzled by the envelopes and just wanted privacy so she could open them. All three were sealed and nothing was written externally. Each one felt like it contained heavy paper, or card, or money! Maybe Thomas was saving in these envelopes as a surprise. Janet went downstairs and as soon as the men had manipulated the long sausage-like roll of carpet out her front door she opened one of the envelopes.

The foreman thought something was wrong when they re-entered the house with the new carpet. Mrs Johnson looked shocked and pale but he dismissed it because he was more concerned about getting the new rolled carpet through the house without knocking pictures off the walls. She’s probably unhappy with this colour already, he smirked internally. They carried it upstairs and, in what seemed just a handful of minutes to Janet, were back downstairs.

“All finished now.” The foreman said.

Janet forced herself to concentrate. “What, already, is the furniture back as well?” The previous half an hour appeared to have shot past in an instant.

“It is. Everything back where it was. If you’d like to come up with me to see?” He asked, pulling a pen from behind his ear, “then just sign this to say it’s all in place and fine. Here, you see, I’ve put ‘customer changed mind and wants to retain carpet’. You see this?” He hel his clipboard up.

Janet tried to focus on the form but wasn’t interested. She took the clipboard and signed in the box.

“Don’t you want to inspect our fitting?” He asked with surprise, normally everyone checked the fitment before signing.

“No no, thank you, you did a good job last time so it must be fine. Thank you.” Janet stood up. “Thank you, well then.... goodbye.”

“Right then, we’ll be off now.” The man nervously laughed because he was hanging around a bit because last time this woman had given him a ten pound tip. Never mind, he thought, he’d get at least 50 for the carpet. He spoke out loud then, to finalise, “Well, thank you for your old carpet, my daughter will be happy. Bye now.”

Janet waited until the men drove away and went to make a cup of tea for herself. She started to fill the kettle but her hands were shaking so much she was unable to. She felt dizzy and so sat down on a stool. She was shocked in so many ways she could not think. It felt as if she had been in a car crash and was half concussed. She was stunned, paralysed with disbelief. She stared into a closed cupboard until her vision blurred and she broke down into a session of uncontrollable tears.

Her brother, luckily, was at home. Well, it wasn’t a home in the traditional sense, it was a bedsit and a seriously dirty place. Janet Johnson’s house was immaculate and she was very appearance conscious, however her brother was the opposite, he lived in a dirty smelly room and he often looked unkempt and dirty himself. He had a serious alcohol problem. Normally he didn’t bother to answer the phone because mostly it was not for him. This time, uncharacteristically, he did. “What?” He demanded.

“It’s me Johnny.”
“Who?”
“Me! Janny.”
“Oh you don’t sound like you.”
“Johnny please come over now.”

John could detect an unfamiliar serious strangeness in his sister’s voice. “What is it, what’s the matter?” He asked half-earnistly.

“Can you come immediately? Get a taxi and I’ll pay the driver when you get here.”
“That’ll cost more than 30 or 50 quid.”
“Johnny just come now please. I’ll pay the taxi when you get here.”
“What’s the matter siss? You sound weird.”
“Johnny as quick as you can.....” Janet hung up.

John dialled her number but it was engaged. He was mixed with apprehension and annoyance. Why was she so upset and why didn’t she tell him why he must go there now. Something was wrong for sure, but what? He tried phoning for her quite afew more times until he gave up, got another dialling tone and phoned the local taxi firm. Annoyed.

Within a few minutes John was outside the building waiting for the taxi. They said it would be there within 5 minutes. It was very early in the day for John. Most days he didn’t get out of bed before 1 or 2pm. He wished he’d brushed his teeth and had a cup of coffee and maybe even a can of larger. He could feel a layer of scummy stuff on his teeth. He felt terrible: the night before he’d been drinking seriously.

A car pulled up and it was not a taxi. “John!” Someone shouted.

John stooped to look at the driver and it was a guy called Pete. They had met in the holding cells of the local police station a few months ago and a few times since then had met in the pub. They had had quite a few laughs together.

“What you doing? You look like shit!” Pete wound down the passenger window. He had lots of tattoos but John had got used to them.

“Going to my sister’s, she’s paying for a taxi it’ll be 40 quid at least.”
“Give me 30 and I’ll take you.” Pete offered, scratching his ear.
“Yeah sure mate.” John jumped in the car and Pete sped forward dangeriously. The car behind started blowing the horn and Pete shouted “Fuck off” out his window.

John gave him the directions and soon they were zooming down a dual carriageway. Pete was chatting no-stop but John was wondering what was wrong at his sister’s.

“Light it up!” Pete poked John’s thoughts and ribs then passed him a big cone-shaped joint. “Fucking top gear man.” Pete’s grin was large and nearly banished the tattooed tears falling from his one eye.

John sat back in the car and smoked half the Marianna joint. He didn’t smoke cannabis everyday and found that when he did, it really did spin him out a bit. He passed it back to Pete but he refused it and started saying:

“John you know anyone who wants some base. I tell you this speed is like nothing you’ve had before.” He went off chatting away about a friend who had some of his new supply of amphetamine sulphate and didn’t sleep for 4 days.

By the time they had reached his sister’s street John was glad to get away from Pete. He had been talking non-stop for the last 20 minutes and John was feeling stoned and just wanted to mellow out somewhere peaceful and calm. “Okay here. Look, give me say 30 minutes. I’ll find out what’s going on and then I’ll give you 30 pounds. Maybe we can go to a pub or something. Are you okay waiting here?”

“I’ve got fuck all else to do. Mightaswell, I’ll just go down there.” Pete pointed down the middle-class suburban road where there were few houses hidden by huge gardens. “I need a another line like. I’ll be parked down there by that park.”

John knocked on the door and his sister answered. Her appearance shocked him because her eyes looked swollen and sore. Her makeup was all streaky and her hair was not in it’s normal perfect style. She held up her purse: “Taxi money.”

“No worry, my friend gave me a lift and I promised him a 50. What’s happened Jan?”

Janet let her brother in and closed the door firmly behind them. She walked silently into the plush lounge and picked up one of the envelopes. She passed it over to John and said, so quietly he could hardly hear, “Look at this.”

Killing P part 1 of about 300 pages!
by TopDaz